Feelings: Uncontrollable disturbance in life.
This happens to me. Can you relate?
Does it ever strike you how today you could be in your feelings? It is so obvious you caught feelings for this person. Then nature happens. That tingling feeling, butterflies, shyness that was never there creeps in. Arggh! Life.
I think what annoys me is that you never plan for it to happen. Let’s be very honest, you don’t even plan for it technically. What astounds me is how this mountainous to plain cycle happens every time.
You meet a guy. He partly meets your ‘real deal frame’. The person in question is not even close but your feelings did not put your requirement in consideration. The guy is okay. Okay enough to wake up next to for the rest of your life. Okay to stand next to you in your wedding pictures.
You know the cliché; things never go as planned. You actually tell people, I want a tall, rich bla bla... We know how it goes but you exaggerate the height so that when things don’t go as planned, it falls to your original plan. So you tell people that you want someone like Anthony Joshua. You really don’t want Anthony. Even if you did, you should have a Teyana Taylor body or something similar. So you are ‘normal’ and you want Anthony eh?
So, you are telling two lies. The first one is that you don’t want someone like Anthony Joshua. The second one is that you are lying for your reality. Since things don’t go according to plan, it actually lands on what you want.
Then the guy that isn’t Anthony Joshua comes along.
“Hi, I am Josiah”, he says confidently.
Josiah! OMG! I am on the right path. This is not Joshua but Josiah. It is not what you tell people but it might be what you want you think.
“I am Faith”, you say years later.
You know! It is a knowing. First, his eyes; the fire they bring – it moves from the left to the right. It moves so fast but it happens once. You know he likes you. Even if he is not the one but at that point you know he likes you.
He is just there smiling and you are already dreaming of where you will get married.
No! Santorini is becoming over used. Yes! It is Venice. Venice is beautiful then we will go for our honeymoon in the Bahamas. Oh! No. I can’t wear a bikini. Then we will go to Paris for the honeymoon. Our first child will be a girl. Her name will be Shine or Clay.
In reality, he asks for your number but you are already on the name of your last child. He might call or never call.
Joshua, Josiah, Jolade or John. People that make us overthink come once in a while. Some of us stop at the honeymoon stage, others move to how they will be buried side by side.
We can’t escape this stage. Our stories are just different. Or is the reality true? Am I the only one that overthinks things?
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