This is not an attempt to garner pity or I am expecting someone to say how I am the opposite of what I about to say. I am a bad friend.
First, I suck at keeping up. No matter how hard I try I don’t know how to keep up with people. There are so many people I don’t talk to anymore because I really cannot give any reason for it but honestly I don’t get time to keep up with everyone but not everyone understands. Everyone keeps telling me “Make room for people” but how?
I hate apologizing for my inefficiency at anything so having to tell people that I am sorry for not keeping up can be exhausting.
I also have a problem going back when I say ‘goodbye’. Let me say a short story; in secondary school there was a Reverend Brother that we were fond of. He was a genuinely good person and you know how these things happen and he got transferred. It was really painful that he had to go. We were all like “we will miss you”. Months later I had an opportunity to talk to him over the phone and I did not want to talk to him.I was repulsive to the idea of getting in touch with him. Sometimes I think that when I say ‘goodbye’, I just want to leave it there.
There are times in school I will see someone I know from way back but I don’t call the person because I feel it’s unnecessary. I don’t feel bad about it either. I know I should feel bad about it and try to do better but No!
I think my personality just wants to keep few people in touch but I don’t know how to accommodate so many people. This sounds corny but I think it’s the truth.
It’s not like I don’t have friends at all. I am very good friends with few people.
Honestly, I can’t promise I will be a better friend because I don’t know if I will be a better friend.
This post is just to acknowledge that I know I am not awesome in the ‘friendship’ thing. I know that I should call more; I know I should send you a message but I don’t. I don’t want to be sorry because it should be something I should work o.
You can tell me to try my best but what if this is my best?
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